Jam Flaglopyatt is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, egotistical lizard.

Jam Flaglopyatt created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jam Flaglopyatt, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jam Flaglopyatt, she will laugh at you.

Jam Flaglopyatt's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Jam Flaglopyatt's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Jam Flaglopyatt seven times a day.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Erect four nickel sculptures of Jam Flaglopyatt on top of important buildings.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Retreat if eight frogs approach from the east.