Nigvanfub is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, irritating crane.

Nigvanfub created oxygen six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nigvanfub, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nigvanfub, she will turn you into a sheep.

Nigvanfub's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Nigvanfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not kill sharks.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not shave your back.