Hubneghab is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, able bear.

Hubneghab created tapeworms four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hubneghab, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hubneghab, she will turn you into a snail.

Hubneghab's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Hubneghab's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.