Wityarpzig is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unsympathetic sheep.

Wityarpzig created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wityarpzig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Wityarpzig, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wityarpzig's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Wityarpzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never play with disobedient children.