Woncenhug is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, selfish hippopotamus.

Woncenhug created humanity seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Woncenhug, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Woncenhug, it will turn you into a worm.

Woncenhug's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Woncenhug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Hide if four hamsters approach from the north.

5. Never pour water over plants.