Zenarfhudnatsisshavhun Gedbissan is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, smart tapir.

Zenarfhudnatsisshavhun Gedbissan created the Tadpole Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenarfhudnatsisshavhun Gedbissan, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zenarfhudnatsisshavhun Gedbissan, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Zenarfhudnatsisshavhun Gedbissan's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Zenarfhudnatsisshavhun Gedbissan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Run away if nine goats approach from the north.

5. Always obey Zenarfhudnatsisshavhun Gedbissan's priests.