Mistoffum is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, flying raven.

Mistoffum created snails two billion years ago.

If you believe in Mistoffum, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Mistoffum, he will boil you in a big pot.

Mistoffum's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Mistoffum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Always wear violet.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.