Farncedpark is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, omnipotent hippopotamus.

Farncedpark created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Farncedpark, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Farncedpark, she will destroy your home solar system.

Farncedpark's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Farncedpark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never talk about eagles.

4. Do not wear yellow clothing.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.