Poglarntetti is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, irritating fly.

Poglarntetti created the planet Venus twelve years ago.

If you believe in Poglarntetti, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Poglarntetti, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Poglarntetti's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Poglarntetti's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Never wear cyan skirts.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Poglarntetti.