Lad is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, weak meerkat.

Lad created humankind three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lad, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lad, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Lad's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Lad's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into fawn rooms.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not laugh in public.