Dodguplabvid is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, irritating snail.

Dodguplabvid created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dodguplabvid, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dodguplabvid, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dodguplabvid's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Dodguplabvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Hide if nine badgers approach from the north.

3. Retreat if eight foxes approach from the south.

4. Never talk about snails.

5. Never paint your legs turquoise.