Joptaflid is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, annoying pigeon.

Joptaflid created parasitic wasps two years ago.

If you believe in Joptaflid, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Joptaflid, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Joptaflid's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Joptaflid's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dolphins in need.

2. Never sing near nematodes.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never mention gulls.

5. Do not cook food in pots.