Tombegsagpakjentikcandob is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, quiet armadillo.

Tombegsagpakjentikcandob created the world eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tombegsagpakjentikcandob, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tombegsagpakjentikcandob, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tombegsagpakjentikcandob's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Tombegsagpakjentikcandob's Holy Commandments

1. Tombegsagpakjentikcandob loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always help sick nematodes.

4. Hide if eight sheep approach from the north.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.