Parkyatgarnib is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, smart goat.

Parkyatgarnib created carbon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkyatgarnib, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Parkyatgarnib, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Parkyatgarnib's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Parkyatgarnib's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from orange snails, for they are unholy.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never think ill of sick dogs.