Pibpaghen is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, merciless lobster.

Pibpaghen created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pibpaghen, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pibpaghen, it will ignore you.

Pibpaghen's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Pibpaghen's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Worship no other gods but Pibpaghen.

4. Do not wear purple clothing.

5. You must never eat bananas.