Lipzodhim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, boastful narwhal.

Lipzodhim created the Sombrero Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipzodhim, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lipzodhim, she will send minions to preach to you.

Lipzodhim's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Lipzodhim's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six porpoises approach from the west.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never bounce in the presence of mites.