Getkopflab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omnipotent weasel.

Getkopflab created a down quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Getkopflab, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Getkopflab, he will boil you in a big pot.

Getkopflab's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Getkopflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Erect five tin sculptures of Getkopflab on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.