Zodhunvan is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, tiresome jackal.

Zodhunvan created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodhunvan, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zodhunvan, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Zodhunvan's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Zodhunvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair gray.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zodhunvan.