Femappyamzod is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, smart snake.

Femappyamzod created an electron seven million years ago.

If you believe in Femappyamzod, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Femappyamzod, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Femappyamzod's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Femappyamzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat carrots.

2. You must never eat turnips.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.