Zossnabflis is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unthoughtful lion.

Zossnabflis created humanity seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zossnabflis, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zossnabflis, she will turn you into a frog.

Zossnabflis' most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Zossnabflis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Zossnabflis' name in vain.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Zossnabflis must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.