Sitwatdud is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, confident duck.

Sitwatdud created parasitic wasps eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitwatdud, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sitwatdud, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Sitwatdud's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Sitwatdud's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Never bounce in the presence of porpoises.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.