Yattpod is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, competent lobster.

Yattpod created Africa twelve years ago.

If you believe in Yattpod, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yattpod, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Yattpod's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Yattpod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Yattpod loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

3. Feed all hungry horses.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.