Hingeppad is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, generous newt.

Hingeppad created bats seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Hingeppad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hingeppad, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Hingeppad's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Hingeppad's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Hingeppad three times a day.

2. Do not take Hingeppad's name in vain.

3. Hingeppad loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Hingeppad.

5. Do not listen to music.