Arfbonkbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, two-faced swan.

Arfbonkbeg created life eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfbonkbeg, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Arfbonkbeg, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Arfbonkbeg's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Arfbonkbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

2. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never hurt gulls.

5. You must love Arfbonkbeg.