Kenbogsaf Mumtap is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, calm crocodile.

Kenbogsaf Mumtap created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kenbogsaf Mumtap, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kenbogsaf Mumtap, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Kenbogsaf Mumtap's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Kenbogsaf Mumtap's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three bats approach from the north.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never paint your legs orange.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Run away if nine ducks approach from the west.