Tarbifbif Bapzodtaplarnbutzenwit is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, contented beaver.

Tarbifbif Bapzodtaplarnbutzenwit created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Tarbifbif Bapzodtaplarnbutzenwit, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tarbifbif Bapzodtaplarnbutzenwit, it will turn you into a goat.

Tarbifbif Bapzodtaplarnbutzenwit's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Tarbifbif Bapzodtaplarnbutzenwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Feed all hungry gulls.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

5. Respect your elders.