Bepcussgid is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, resourceful bear.

Bepcussgid created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bepcussgid, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bepcussgid, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bepcussgid's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Bepcussgid's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat rice.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always wear turquoise.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Bepcussgid on top of all buildings.

5. Never look in ponds.