Lagparkdun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, staggering pigeon.

Lagparkdun created the Sombrero Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagparkdun, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lagparkdun, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Lagparkdun's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Lagparkdun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not eat grapes.

3. Feed all hungry sheep.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.