Janlitgublad is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, emotional hamster.

Janlitgublad created the Milkyway eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Janlitgublad, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Janlitgublad, he will turn you into a slug.

Janlitgublad's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Janlitgublad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Run away from fawn moths, for they are unholy.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.