Bumzenmethotcib is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, merciless dryad.

Bumzenmethotcib created the planet Mars six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumzenmethotcib, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bumzenmethotcib, she will think nothing of it.

Bumzenmethotcib's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Bumzenmethotcib's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Bumzenmethotcib.

4. Hide from orange whales for they are unholy.

5. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.