Bemflatmap is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, duplicitous swan.

Bemflatmap created a down quark two years ago.

If you believe in Bemflatmap, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bemflatmap, he will turn you into a rat.

Bemflatmap's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Bemflatmap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help frogs.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Erect four iron sculptures of Bemflatmap on top of important buildings.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.