Haslapfun Dabtamfum is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, omniscient goose.

Haslapfun Dabtamfum created oxygen three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haslapfun Dabtamfum, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Haslapfun Dabtamfum, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Haslapfun Dabtamfum's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Haslapfun Dabtamfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Never bounce near cats.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Haslapfun Dabtamfum on top of all buildings.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.