Gadwegbamkap is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, weak raccoon.

Gadwegbamkap created the solar system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadwegbamkap, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gadwegbamkap, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gadwegbamkap's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Gadwegbamkap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never bounce near nematodes.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Gadwegbamkap.

5. Fast once a month.