Nadxemlip is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, charitable deer.

Nadxemlip created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Nadxemlip, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nadxemlip, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Nadxemlip's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Nadxemlip's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

2. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

3. Do not hurt squirrels.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Hide from magenta manatees for they are unholy.