Bifzakfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a large, temperamental human.

Bifzakfoss created dark matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bifzakfoss, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bifzakfoss, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Bifzakfoss' most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Bifzakfoss' Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lemons.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Bats are not to be trusted.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bifzakfoss.

5. Do not make images of living things.