Kemfudsaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, quiet aardvark.

Kemfudsaf created the planet Venus three million years ago.

If you believe in Kemfudsaf, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kemfudsaf, it will ignore you.

Kemfudsaf's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Kemfudsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Kemfudsaf.

5. Do not listen to music.