Wabxucjin is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, unjust tapir.

Wabxucjin created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabxucjin, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Wabxucjin, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Wabxucjin's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Wabxucjin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Hide if four horses approach from the south.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.