Queegnarllop is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, vain lizard.

Queegnarllop created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Queegnarllop, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Queegnarllop, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Queegnarllop's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Queegnarllop's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Always help goats.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.