Pitlamgud is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, annoying crocodile.

Pitlamgud created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitlamgud, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Pitlamgud, she will turn you into a rock.

Pitlamgud's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Pitlamgud's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Pitlamgud on top of all buildings.

4. Always help eagles in need.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.