Fenlagrip is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, cheerful gerbil.

Fenlagrip created the planet Venus four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenlagrip, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fenlagrip, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fenlagrip's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Fenlagrip's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Fenlagrip four times a day.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Rats are not to be trusted.

4. Always help porpoises.

5. Fenlagrip must be the most important thing in your life.