Xucsafflis Raktinmat is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, passionate swan.

Xucsafflis Raktinmat created an atom two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucsafflis Raktinmat, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xucsafflis Raktinmat, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Xucsafflis Raktinmat's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Xucsafflis Raktinmat's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. You must never eat bread.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Do not chop down trees.