Tarpquatfas is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, duplicitous capybara.

Tarpquatfas created the Sol system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpquatfas, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tarpquatfas, she will be mildly annoyed.

Tarpquatfas' most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Tarpquatfas' Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not make images of living things.