Fagkencabdonjan is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, ruthless octopus.

Fagkencabdonjan created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagkencabdonjan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fagkencabdonjan, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Fagkencabdonjan's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Fagkencabdonjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt hamsters.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always help swans.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not shave your back.