Ran Cubhenmad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, calm naga.

Ran Cubhenmad created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ran Cubhenmad, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Ran Cubhenmad, he will curse you with boils.

Ran Cubhenmad's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Ran Cubhenmad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three seals approach from the east.

2. Always help doves.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always look after injured hamsters.