Afsugdim Zedjapzog is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, clever cow.

Afsugdim Zedjapzog created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Afsugdim Zedjapzog, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Afsugdim Zedjapzog, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Afsugdim Zedjapzog's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Afsugdim Zedjapzog's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine pigs approach from the north.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Afsugdim Zedjapzog on top of all buildings.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never eat tomatoes.