Rakcembab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, loving guinea pig.

Rakcembab created light four years ago.

If you believe in Rakcembab, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Rakcembab, it will strike you with lightening.

Rakcembab's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Rakcembab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

2. Never sit near nematodes.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.