Negmegdadbat is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, tiresome jaguar.

Negmegdadbat created carbon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Negmegdadbat, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Negmegdadbat, it will boil you in a big pot.

Negmegdadbat's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Negmegdadbat's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not wear pink clothing.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

5. Hide from fawn bats for they are unholy.