Yemyangov is a god.

She takes the form of a large, dishonourable warg.

Yemyangov created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yemyangov, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yemyangov, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Yemyangov's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Yemyangov's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Do not kill otters.