Tipvabcum is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonourable hamster.

Tipvabcum created Europe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tipvabcum, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tipvabcum, he will remove you from existence.

Tipvabcum's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Tipvabcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tipvabcum.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tipvabcum.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Do not kill goats.