Cudyarpzig is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, astonishing swallow.

Cudyarpzig created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cudyarpzig, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cudyarpzig, she will make you grow a tail.

Cudyarpzig's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Cudyarpzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not wear violet clothing.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.